To conquer others is strong;To conquer oneself is mighty _ Lao-Tzu
Everyone knows someone who gets emotional!
Sometimes in the heat of the moment, or when we are extremely anxious or stressed out, our logical reasoning gets kicked out of the door and knee-jerk emotional response to the situation ensured. We said or did something that we regretted later. Our reaction flew out of the gate before we could catch it. It’s like our rational mind stopped and what (words or actions) came out not only surprised us but everyone else around.
We may end up wondering “How could I do that, what could I have possibly been thinking?”
Well, in reality, you weren’t thinking! You were emotionally hijacked!
The “amygdala hijack” is a term first coined in Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence, his first book on the subject.
The amygdala is the emotional part of the brain, which regulates our reactions to the outside world. When threatened, it can respond irrationally. A rush of stress hormones floods the body before the prefrontal lobes (regulating executive function) can mediate this reaction.
Any strong emotion, worry, anxiety, anger, joy, or betrayal... can trip off the amygdala and impair the rational part of the brain - the prefrontal cortex stops planning, comprehending, deciding, or learning. It just acts out what the lower brain centres think we must do, and now. The amygdala makes snap judgments, directing us to act in ways from our early days. We react childishly, in a manner that is unskillful, if downright self-defeating, because the blood and oxygen are in the amygdala versus the prefrontal cortex. It is like losing 10 to 15 IQ points temporarily.
Regain your IQ Points via Self-Management
The good news is you CAN regain the losing IQ points via Managing Yourself!
Self-awareness is about exploring and understanding your inner landscape. Self-management is the process of managing one’s internal states, impulses, and resources. It builds upon self-awareness, and it is NOT about avoiding distress, denying or suppressing our true feelings, it is actually about navigating the challenges and opportunities with more ease.
Here are what you can try on your own to gain back your lost IQ points:
1. Label the feelings
Naming the feeling can normalize it and nurture a direction or action. Again and again, Neuroscientist tells us the brain changes with attention and focus as these can change which parts of the brain are getting activated.
2. Take advantage of the gap between impulse and action.
When amygdala sends that anger or panic signal to the executive centre- Prefrontal Cortex, you have a window to handle it well—or not.
It takes self-awareness, to take control. If you don’t see your hijacks coming, they are more likely to lead to a disastrous reaction.
But if you can monitor the internal signs of an oncoming hijack—such as angry thoughts or a certain feeling in your gut—then you can go down another route. If, for example, you can tell yourself, “I’m having that feeling again…,” this means you have activated prefrontal circuitry that helps you manage the amygdala. You can make a calmer response.
